Frayed Ends
by akatsukinokuruma
Summary: Meyrin has never gotten over him. Day and night she spends in a shabby college dorm in Orb, hoping she will have the chance to see him. She has given up all she has, in search for him. Can her forbidden dream come true? Or will she be able to let go?


Frayed Ends

Meyrin has never gotten over him. Day and night she spends in a shabby college dorm in Orb, hoping she will have the chance to see him. She has given up all she has, in search for him. Will she ever be able to let go? Or can her forbidden dream come true?

As I Wait For You

Meyrin stared out at the gloomy skies. _It looks like rain again, _she thought miserably. The rain always made her sad. She needed the bright sun to help her perk up. Especially now. Now, whenever it rained, she felt desperate to escape. She needed to leave this place, she knew. She had no business hanging around. All for a guy.

_But he's not just any guy…_ Meyrin reflected. He was perfect. All her life, she had been dreaming of someone just like him. And for him to come along, unattached… well, he wasn't _really_ unattached. But she had believed he had been, and that had allowed her to fall into an endless, bottomless spiral of love… with him.

Meyrin sighed, and stretched out her legs. They had grown longer since her time on the Minerva and the Archangel. She was a good inch taller now, and slimmer. Her long red hair was never cut since, and now hung around her waist. The ends were frayed. And with each passing day, their state got worse and worse… they needed to be cut off, free. Meyrin touched here hair, and grabbed two elastics from the table close to her. She slung her hair into her two ponytails, and then looked at herself critically in the mirror.

For a girl of nineteen, she looked quite young. She knew it was her hair. So many times, people at her college would stop and look at her questioningly. She still resembled her naïve, sixteen year-old self. And she refused to cut her hair, for the sole reason of _him_. Meyrin had a crazy hope that if she stayed the same, he would too… and he would recognize her and want to be with her again… even if it was just as a friend. Because she knew that was all they had. So cutting her hair would mean… letting go.

Meyrin shook her head. Her thoughts were too negative. She knew she was brooding. But there was no way out of this rut.

"I'll take a walk." She said aloud. She grabbed her coat and slipped on her shoes. She was about to leave when she had a thought.

_If I leave my coat… and I happen to meet him, maybe he will give me his coat!_ Meyrin shook her head furiously. _No, stupid! You're not going to make yourself catch a cold just IN CASE you run into him! _ Her voice of reason argued. But it lost, as it usually did lately. Meyrin dropped her coat on the couch and walked out the door.

Earth was amazing. Plants grew, animals ran around, weather was unpredictable. Though Meyrin was starting to get sick of the rainy March weather. A cold north wind blew at her, reminding her how stupid she was for not bringing along her coat. Meyrin hugged her arms together. _She_ was the one who decided to leave the comfort of PLANTS, not to mention home, for this.

"_Meyrin, do you realize how stupid you're being?!" Lunamaria shouted at her._

_Meyrin shook her head stubbornly. "It's my choice, Luna." She muttered._

"_Do you actually know what you're doing? Leaving PLANTS, your home, all for a guy who likes someone else!"_

"But I also like him…" Meyrin bowed her head.

"_But it doesn't mean you should leave your home, your family, your friends, your _whole LIFE_ for a guy you just _might_ see, lest get a chance to talk to!" Luna was red from yelling._

"_You're not fair, Luna."_

"_Fair? Why am I not fair?"_

"_You have Shinn, the person _you_ love, with you here. I don't want to be alone. That's why I'm going."_

"_But at PLANTS, you have all of us. You only might have him down there!"_

"_It's a risk I have to take, Luna. I've made up my mind."_

Meyrin had learned since then that Luna had broken up with Shinn. In a lengthy e-mail, Luna had written about how Shinn liked another girl… and how she had suspected he had anyways. Meyrin had asked who she was, but Luna never answered her. And Meyrin didn't have the heart to bring it up again. Meyrin had rarely corresponded with Shinn before, but after the break-up, which happened only two months after Meyrin left, they had lost touch. Shinn had gotten a new e-mail, and didn't add her. Meyrin secretly wondered why from time to time.

"_Meyrin!" a voice called out._

_Meyrin turned. "Shinn?"_

"_I heard from Luna you're planning on leaving…" he said slowly._

"_Uhh, yeah. I'm going down to Earth."_

"_Why?" he asked bluntly. His red orbs were fixed on her face. _

"_Umm, I got accepted at a college there. And I plan to attend, so--"_

"_But you were accepted into an university here." Shinn replied. "Which is a thousand times better than the one you're going to…"_

"_If you already knew I was going to that college, why did you ask!?" Meyrin was more than a little annoyed._

"'_Cause I was wondering if you're going down to Earth to find Athrun." He stated._

_Meyrin flushed a deep red. "So what if I am…"_

Meyrin sat down on a bench and hugged her knees. Her thin blouse was not very warm. She used to wear T-shirts and shorts when she went out, but stopped after…

"_Wow, Meyrin, you look really nice." Athrun smiled at her. _

_Meyrin looked down at her clothes, flushed. She was wearing a white skirt and a pink, frilly blouse. She smiled and followed him into the building, where the meeting would occur._

But that was three years ago. Right after the war._ I haven't seen him since. _Meyrin brooded. However, she always dressed nicely after that day. No more baggy shorts and T-shirts. Which also meant no more familiar comfort. She remembered the surprise on her friends' faces when they saw her new 'casual look'.

"_Meyrin? We're just going bowling. You don't have to wear that." Luna raised her eyebrow. _

"_Maybe I don't want to dress like a slob anymore. That's what you always said I looked like anyways." Meyrin pointed out._

_Luna frowned. "But I didn't mean you had to dress like you're going to work either…"_

"_Meyrin?" Shinn's surprised voice when he saw her. "I thought you were coming bowling with us? You have other plans?"_

_Meyrin huffed, exasperated. "No! Can't I just dress a little nicely? And besides, it's our last night on Earth!"_

And when Athrun saw her…

"_Hey Meyrin! You look like you're someone important… all fancy." He smiled. _

_Meyrin felt a fuzzy feeling inside her. "You like it?" she asked timidly._

_Athrun paused, then smiled again. "Yeah. You look really pretty." He gave her a thumbs-up before going to bowl, leaving a ecstatic Meyrin behind._

Meyrin smiled to herself. Athrun always knew what to say. He liked her look; which was the reason it had been changed, but anyways…

She cast a look at her pants. The soft white material was a bit dirty from sitting on the public bench, and the rusty nails had made a few rusty snags at it as well. Meyrin frowned. She might dress nicely, but she didn't know how to wear it. And the fancy clothes were a bit stiff and restraining at times… Meyrin longed to be in her favourite worn-out T-shirt and baggy pajama pants… but that could only be worn at home, when she was sure she wasn't going to get any visitors. No one at her college knew Meyrin was a secret slob…

Then the rain started pouring. On and on, relentlessly. Meyrin sneezed. She should go home. But she dreaded walking into her dorm room, which she shared with no one but herself. Her dormitory was co-ed, so all she saw were couples mingling in the hallways. She was glad her room had it's own washroom, and she didn't have to use the co-ed one down the hall… But she didn't want to go back, and face all those couples. Holding hands, kissing, cuddling… all the things she could never do…

Meyrin stood up. Her hair was dripping wet now, and the tattered ends stuck up. They were a noticeably lighter colour and had a rougher texture from the rest of her silky hair. She sighed and pulled at the ends. She knew not cutting them off would affect the rest of her hair eventually. It was already, bit by bit.

Meyrin shivered. It was so cold. Bone-cold. There was a thick fog setting in, and it was getting hard to see. Meyrin started to feel scared. Suppose a person—

_No!_ Her insides screamed at her. _Don't scare yourself even more!_ Meyrin hugged her arms and started walking. She saw a figure in the distance. It started to get bigger and closer. Meyrin was now beyond frightened. She backed away, and the started to run.

The person called to her. But most of it got carried away by the strong wind, and Meyrin could only make out a strangled whine. Her face paled with fright.

"Go away!" she said, shaking.

"Stop! Don't run! Stop running from me!" a male voice called. His figure began to form in front of her. Meyrin's legs were glued to the floor, her eyes round.

"Meyrin." The boy said. The tall figure came into her view, his dark hair dripping wet like hers, his eyes apprehensive. "I've finally found you."

"Y-You. Why are you here, —"


End file.
